Monday, March 31, 2008

This is my life

So one of my students just now came into the office yelling about how the freakiest thing happened to him last night and that we need to protect him. Here's essentially what he said in his weirdo-rant:

"So last night I was having a peaceful dream about Care Bears and stuff when I felt a cool breeze over my body. The windows weren't open or anything and my fan wasn't on. The door was closed so there was no breeze or nothing and my cat was sleeping on me so I should have been extra warm. Then all of a sudden I got really cold and the Devil popped into my dream, totally at random. I felt a sharp pain in my heart because the Devil had just pierced my soul and possessed me. It was really freaky and I almost peed in my pants. Then he took me into his lair in Hell and started beating the crap out of me and I felt all of his pain and saw all the things he could see and he said I was next and that he was going to kill me today. My grandfather has been convinced I have had a possessed soul since I was 3 and he has been trying to get me ever since and do an exorcism or something on me but my grandmother wouldn't let him because her good soul is protecting me from evil like him, but she couldn't stop the Devil.
Now I'm watching my back and seeing 6's everywhere, the sign of Satan you know, and I don't know when or how but I am going to die today. What do I do?"

Unreal. Like, how the hell am I supposed to even react to this?

Other gems included this: "Everyone knows that if you go to a cemetery at midnight and do a grave dance you can raise the souls of the dead." This was in response to our claims that this was just a nightmare and that it wasn't really going to happen.
He also was shouting the whole time, despite the fact that the office is inside the school library and getting very exasperated when no one would believe him.

Clearly he watched/read Harry Potter recently and saw The Number 23, which would explain the "feeling/seeing what the devil does/sees" bit and all the 6's he is seeing all over the place.

Totally bizarre. This is pretty close to a typical day too, which is the crazy part.

2 comments:

PeelHere said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

nice

cleavland 1
my research paper 0

-tirrell

Cleveland said...

Glad to see you're reading and enjoying it Tirrell. We all know research papers are for the birds anyway.

You have no idea the kind of weird shit I hear these kids utter.