Thursday, January 3, 2008

Winter Break Recap

After a much needed break from work and other things, like maintaining a blog, I am back with some updates.

This year's winter break saw me return home to Maine to hang out with my family and my friends from back home. Lots of highlights from the break, some amusing, others not so, took place and I'm going to get right into the recap.

After attending numerous holiday parties, family gatherings and scrambling to get my last minute shopping done, I was ready for a break from my break. Thus the day after Christmas we got together at CP's house and started drinking aggressively, listening to Dragonforce and watching episodes of Captain Planet on youtube. After a solid two hours of this most of us were wasted and when sober re-enforcements arrived we headed over to the Goose as we do far too often for the 5$ PBR pitchers. Standard Goose night ensued, with numerous pitchers consumed, bizarre people encountered and lots of weird hardcore/metal music playing on the jukebox. Since everyone in town shares a similar level of degeneracy and limited funds, lots more friends showed up and eventually we went to several other places which are hazy in my memory at best as my concept of time was severely disturbed.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, my car keys fell out of my pocket as we were leaving the Goose and so the next morning I had to wake up at 9am to drive my mother to work and borrow her car to hunt for my keys. I went back to CP's and hunted around in the street near my car. I drove slowly the route we took to the Goose looking on the roadside for my keys. I went into the bar at 11AM and not only were there people already there drinking but they didn't have my keys. Since I had no idea where else we went that night, I left my number and told them to call me if I found them and went home to come up with a plan B. As I was formulating some inane plot to create a new car key for myself, I get the following phone call:
"Hi, this is the Blue Goose. We have your car keys. You can pick them up anytime."

Sign number one I am a degenerate, right there. Bars are calling me, at noon, on a Thursday.

Friday night we went to a concert in Portland, which was a really phenomenal show. Several of us got really drunk, myself included, and after the show is when the shitshow began. Our driver had checked his coat, and when he went to retrieve it, he was met with a massive line that seemed not to move. This was puzzling, seeing as everyone had a numbered ticket associated with their coat. The problem was, that instead of putting the coats on the hangers associated with the ticket, they just threw them in a heap on the floor. Also, the guys who took the coats, didn't give them back out and so any hope of face-coat recognition is out the window. They were making people describe their coats to get them back, which is not a good system at all since every other person has a black North Face.

While this 45 minutes process was going on, the rest of us were outside and prevented from going back in, left to wait in the cold. As I am standing the sidewalk area outside the club, I decide to head across the street to stand in the cold with my friends. With a look both ways up and down the street, I started to cross the street and looked back to the club to check on the coat progress. As I was doing this, a car screams up the street and clips me with it's mirror and continues driving up the road.

Now, I realize I was not sober at this point, but I am also not retarded and this car was not coming when I made my way into the road. Also, who feels the need to drive down a side street at 30mph when there are clearly lots of people milling around in and around the roadway? Being pissed off that I was hit by this jerk-off's car, I start walking down the street after him cursing and flipping him off. The stream of profanity that came out of my mouth would have made a sailor blush, and eventually the guy stops at the end of the road. Thinking I am about to get into a fight and win, I am excited. Some of my friends, having seen my adversary, and very concerned and begin to pull me back and tell me to shut up. Since CP had emerged with his coat at this time, and I can't actually fight, I relented. Good decision on my part seeing as account on this guys size have him at 2 to 3 times my own.

The fun was just beginning though, as the 5 of us now reunited after securing the driver's coat were going to get some pizza at the local late night hotspot, Bill's Pizza. However, AD decides that since he left the concert during the second opening act to get food (slim jim's and something else at 7-11) he doesn't want to come along and asks for the car keys to go sit in the heat. Since the pizza joint is around the corner essentially and will only take 15 minutes, this request is denied and we all start walking. Or so we thought. Turns out AD isn't happy about this plan, turns off his phone and heads the other way on foot. We proceed to get a pizza to go and being the hunt for him. It takes us about 25 minutes to get him on the phone, get some sort of location for him and get our bearings and heading in his direction. We eventually find him down by the greyhound station near Hadlock Field, which is a solid 2-3 mile trek from where we were. Classic move.

Saturday was the big Pats regular season finale and so we had a tailgate party at CP's house, complete with Brats, Burgers, tons of snack foods and a cooler full of beer. After some grilling, eating and football in the dark we settle in for the game. It was a great game that went back and forth and we were all drinking heavily throughout. Shirts wee removed for good luck belly slaps, wikipedia was whored out for the records being chased and random stats, we drank every time Randy Moss caught a pass and finished our drinks whenever he caught a TD. The chant of the night was "RAAAANNNNDDDDYYY MOSS!", which was yelled out approximately 1000 times over the course of the evening. The real fun began though, after the victory was secured when we started roaming the neighborhood for parties. We hit up one with a bunch of our other friends and more heavy drinking ensued. During the games of beer ball, several fights broke out among the bystanders, including brother on brother action and a shouting match of TOM BRADY - RANDY MOSS, which inevitably lead to us being asked to leave. On the way home we saw 4 people going down the street towards us. Thinking it was more of our friends we charged them with the intent to tackle, realizing at the last minute that these were our younger brother's friends father's. Luckily, they were wasted too and we played pass and kicked FG's with the empty mini-keg they had.

After this awkward but supremely awesome encounter we headed back to our base of operations to order pizza. On the way, nothing was safe nor sacred, as a child's snowman was speared into oblivion. We called Papa John's, and since none of us had any decent command over the English language, CP asked for specials and said "Give me that one" to the first special. We ended up getting a Large Chicken Parm and a large Pepperoni, which CW did not think was good. For his dissident views, he was doused in water from a Nalgene. Once the Pizza arrived (which no one remembers paying for) we inhaled them both in about five minutes flat. Short term this was awesome, but the smearing of our food with the garlic butter sauce cause numerous digestive related problems the next day.

All in all, pretty standard trip back home, including the 7 foot inflatable Grinch riding a Harley in the neighbors yard and the texts I got on Christmas Eve and Christmas asking if I was going out that night.

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