Monday, October 1, 2007


Now that the regualr season is over and the Sox not only clinched the AL East for the first time since 1995, but also best record in baseball, I wanted to revist my earlier post about the fragile state of th team. Over the course of the past week or so, JD "the corpse" Drew is hitting .500 with 7 RBI, a home run and a steal, as well as several runs scored. He also has looked a little lively in the outfield. Here's hoping that he and our drunken canuck in the pen can keep up the good work into the playoffs. Speaking of Gagne, he has posted 3 scoreless innings as has Okajima who happens to have a save as well. Daisuke had a strong start to close the season and Youkilis has been servicable coming off the wrist contusion. As long as he can gut it out for the playoffs, the slackers keep coming around and Lugo, Crisp and Varitek can find the bats we are looking good for the playoffs. I like our matchup with the Angels, as Lackey has trouble at Fenway and Kelvim Escobar has been ailing recently. K-rod, Vlad and the rejuvenated Garret Anderson are formidable, but I like our chances especially with Manny back in the lineup.

It also occurred to me, through a series of interesting events today, that there is no hope for humanity and the future of Earth. One such event was when a large woman wandered out into traffic, held up two lanes of cars as shelumbered across the road and then paused over the sewer to empty her pockets of trash instead of ambling an extra five feet to the trash can. I'll reiterate: She emptied all her random recipts, pocket lint, gum wrappers etc into the sewer instead of throwing them in the trash. I give up.

Secondly, I saw a late 80's model Jeep Wrangler raised up to absurd heights complete with missing sideview mirror and rusted out wheel wells covered in paint promoting a Megadeth album. Seriously?! Megadeth? Aren't we working on nearly 15 years at least since they were that popular? And who in general paints their car to promote a band's album release? What the hell is wrong with these people. Best part, after doing some web searching the car was promoting their 2004 release "The System Has Failed", not their most recent 2007 release. Stunning really.

Another condemning factor for humanity is the complete societal breakdown that occurs at gas stations. For some reason people cannot get down the concept of entering in the entrance, exiting in the exit and pulling up on the proper side of the pump relevant to one's gas tank. People are just zooming in and out from all sides of the station, driving up over the curbs, backing into the pumps trying to fill up illegal containers you name it. I have seen people pull the pump handle from the opposite side around to fuel their car and even someone amazingly taking up three pumps at once. This doesn't even begin to mention the people who fill up and then spend 15 minutes shopping in the attached gas station mini-mart for cigarettes, scratch tickets and honey buns. It' like a bunch of vutures pulling in for the kill on a wounded animal in the desert, every man for himself type of mentality. No common courtesy, no sense of order and certainly no common sense.
Of course the shining example of this gas station disaster scenario is myself, who while at the pump today spaced out while I was filling up. It had been a long day and a shiny car probably drove by or something, so I pulled a Jeff Daniels from Dumb and Dumber and just started pouring gas out of my now full tank onto the ground, my shoes, my rear tire etc. It took me a good 3 dollars worth of gas all over the place before I even realized what was happening. I didn't blow up the gas station or anything, but I certainly felt like a tool the whole way home from work.

The lesson here, folks, is that not only am I an idiot but society is doomed to crush itself under the oppressive weight of our own stupidity. Oh, and GO SOX!.

1 comment:

bach said...

i forgot how awesome blogs were for homework procrastination.