Friday, September 21, 2007

Implosion

The state of the Red Sox Nation is grim today. We have lost 5 of our last 6, two of those to the damned Yankees and have seen our division lead shrink to a paltry 1.5 games with just over a week to play. This is the division we have been leading almost the entire season and once lead by 14 games. Shades of 1978 here, and to be honest I am getting ready to panic just a little bit here. It's not like we don't have a history of suckage and collapse and I can't really get behind our offense or our pitching staff right now. When our offense is fielding a bunch of AAA kids, waiver claims, a corpse and bench players with our best RBI production coming from a guy that looks like he just left a PTA meeting I can't really feel that comfortable. We are seriously paying 75$ million dollars for J.D. Drew and we have four more years of listless, bored looking corpse man in right field and the ever-pleasurable experience of watching him strike-out looking to end a rally 3 times a week. Manny hasn't played in a month and who knows when he'll decide to come back,Youk looked like he got his arm broken last weekend and that is going to linger for awhile and keep Eric Hinkse manning first base with his even worse facial hair and stellar .220 BA. Crisp is banged up, Lugo sucks 90% of the time, Pedroia is slumping a bit and Ortiz has been hurt all season and it looks like he needs a few days off but since we suck so bad right now and so many other guys are hurt he is stuck taking one for the team - again.

This is just the offense. The once invincible bullpen is in tatters. Okijima has quadrupled his ERA in the last couple of weeks, Gagne looks like a drunken Canadian every time he hits the mound and the suckage has infected Papelbon it seems. We need to just give them all the rest of the week off and let Tavarez, Snyder, Timlin and Coery take all the bullpen innings and hope for the best. Seriously, tired arms, sore shoulders and lack of control; it's like the bullpen all got together at a bad strip joint and took hints on pitching from the coked-out whores giving handjobs. We couldn't be more sloppy right now.

Granted, while I feel a little bit like Chicken Little right now, it's not totally unwarranted given the Red Sox sordid history. That being said,I would not be at all surprised if Manny and Youk came back in time for the playoffs and coupled with JD sparked the offense again and took some pressure of of Lowell and Papi and the bullpen all took the sand out of their vagina's and started pitching like they are capable of. The Red Sox are going to catch fire again soon, just like my fantasy baseball teams and ride stellar starting pitching and massive offense outputs to victory. I just wanted to get that off of my chest so I can enjoy the weekend and start sleeping through the night again. Everything is going to be fine, we will start winning again and have a healthy roster. Beckett will win the Cy Young, Pedroia will win ROY and the Sox will win the World Series.

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