Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Spring Blooms Eternal

As of this past weekend, Spring has officially arrived. It was about time to dammit, since the solid week of rain, clouds, cold, wind and work were really starting to destroy my life. It just so happens that the sun and warm temperatures coincided directly with the April Open House for accepted students. Literally, the first day of this Open House was the first sun in over a week and a very balmy 65 degrees. The campus was buzzing with Frisbee, wiffle ball, sunbathing and general merriment making Tufts seem like the idyllic college campus. Perfect for the administration. Naturally the weather only got better for Friday, day two of the Open House, which also happened to be 4/20. So in addition to an even higher presence of activity on campus and sunbathing girls in bikinis, it was a Friday afternoon and everyone was getting stoned on the library roof. The University was practically selling itself. Days earlier we were entering day 7 of consecutive terrible weather, Open House rolls around, and the dorms spill out onto the Quad and President's Lawn.
I am convinced, of course, that the administration has made some sort of deal with the devil that the weather must be miserable and highly variant from November to early April and then for April Open House it has to be unseasonably warm and sunny for 5 straight days. It happens every year just like this and there can't be any other explanation for it. I'm trying to figure out what Tufts had to sacrifice in this deal with the devil and so far I've come up with two scenarios:
1. In exchange for the promise of good weather, Tufts will slowly eliminate the social scene from the University by systematically eliminating fraternities and sororities in addition to an increased emphasis on policing house parties.
2. In exchange for the good weather, Tufts will admit a disproportionately low number of attractive people in general, especially females.

Either way, something other-worldly occurs for one weekend every April and this year I couldn't have been happier to see that day come. Not only does April Open House beckon in the nice weather for the year, it also ushers into effect the aptly titled "T & A week", in which campus females dump their frumpy sweaters and ill-fitting sweat pants in favor of skirts and tank tops for the spring season. Tanning on the lawns increases dramatically and a severe spike of people actually working out at the gym occurs.

On a related note, good news for campus males everywhere as the soft-serve machine is entering week two of it's inoperative status. Here's hoping people aren't filling in their twice daily ice cream fix with increased pizza and cookie intake. We could all stand to be better looking and it starts with less soft-serve people. I can only hope that my diabolical plan to install a scale in front of the ice dream machine that announces your weight to the entire dining hall is being enacted, and thus explains the downtime in the machine itself.

As the end of the academic year approaches and everyone is getting into that finals push here are some great links with which to occupy your time and give you a ray of hope for the near future.

A nice video montage of collegiate life circa senior week: http://www.22curtis.com/movie.html

A truly disturbing blog link akin to something Skye would send us: http://mollymcgorvey.blogspot.com/
(I was unaware people of this nature were real humans not being paid to act in porn)

And a nice collection of awesome game winning shots from MJ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alijpYhHtyk

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