Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Financial Genius

I read an article in the Daily the other day about the proposed renovations to the Hodgdon take-out place on campus and was initially horrified to learn that it would not open until the end of August. The end of August!? That's after I graduate, how the hell am I supposed to get a beer there if it doesn't even open until after I leave? It was supposed to open in 2 weeks! What shitty contractors.

Of course after getting all worked up I realize the article is about Hodgdon, not Hotung the newly renovated eatery at the campus center that will now be serving alcohol. I read so good. While it's nice that Hodgdon will be getting renovated I don't care since the whole project takes place after I leave and has no bearing on my life. To say I am excited however, for the opening of the new and improved Hotung is an understatement. The ability to buy beer on points has me more excited than I have been in a long time.

Let me explain. Points are not real money. They are this magical entity that allows you to purchase food items on campus and from participating merchants with only a nine digit number. End of transaction. It is so simple that you totally disregard the price you are being charged for these items and consume to your heart's content. This goes double when you are drunk, since the inevitable beer munchies creep up on you and everything becomes such a good idea when you're inebriated. The amount of drunken 555 deals from Domino's I have consumed on points is absurd.
Thus, the mere thought of being able to purchase beer on points has me ecstatic. They could charge 10$ a pint and I would still buy them. Points just aren't money. In real dollar terms, 12$ for a buffalo chicken calzone is highway robbery. On points, I put down 2-3 a week for a semester (not one of my healthier spans of life, coincidentally).

This leads into my point. I am certainly not alone in my sentiments about the magical nature of points. Many other people feel the same about them, and about booze. Beer on points = free booze. Here is where we increase the university's endowment. The number of 21+ students with leftover points every year that go unused is probably very high. This would not be the case with beer on points. Charge 5$ a pint for the shit, and kids will still buy it at an alarming rate. The rich ones will even put more points on their account either from "change" the pick up from their Mercedes convertibles or by having daddy wire them some more. The coffers will overflow with revenue with which to provide such needed campus commodities as wireless and two-ply toilet paper.

1 comment:

Bloom said...

I like that you noted the 555's as things you have "consumed" rather than "bought." You're welcome and I'm keeping a tab for the team on 555's. I'm owed 47.